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On Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness

If You Want Love, Think Like an Advertiser

Robert Manni - Thursday, November 01, 2012

Ever notice how those McDonalds commercials always show up right around lunchtime? You know it’s because that’s when your stomach is growling for something that will hit the spot – that Big Mac is looking especially good right now. Same thing happens with beer and Doritos ads during the timeouts of football games. Your nervous energy is craving savory foods to chomp and a cold beverage to wash them down. It’s called targeted advertising and it works. And guess what? You can use the same time proven techniques to find love, without selling out. Just be true to your own personal brand. Here is how it can work for you:

Know Your Market

That means you need to know whom you want to go after and what these potential partners are looking for in a mate. So if you’re looking for a man, you’ve got to consider what guys want in a relationship. It helps if you focus first on them and less on yourself…at least for this step. Most men I know seek the same core qualities in a female partner- trust, a sense of humor, someone they enjoy hanging out with, someone who has similar interests and values, and hot sex. Hey, sounds like guys are interested in the same things that women are interested in from a partner! Then you need to know where they can be found. Ladies, I am sure you know where the guys hang out in the city. Bars, gyms, classes, work, clubs, the park, ball games, etc. If you cannot find men in the city, invest in a new pair of designer glasses.

Notice I did not say anything about looks.  You’ll need to do the very best you can in that area and hope that nature sends the right signals to the guys that strike your fancy.  That’s part of chemistry, and as you know, chemistry can be random. Don’t worry about what you cannot control.

Know Your Brand

That’s you, dear. Every so often it helps to take a step back and re-examine who we are, what we are and how we roll. Many of us make the same mistakes when it comes to relationships over and over. It could be our attitude towards the opposite sex, how we present ourselves, or even that mental checklist for sizing up potential partners that can include everything from his bank account to his shoes. Yeah, that list.  When it gets longer than one page, it’s too long. Once you know who you are and what you want, consider what qualities you can offer a potential partner that is totally you — your special sauce, if you will. Yes, like on a Big Mac. If you cannot come up with three good reasons why you are special and a great catch, then is it fair to expect some guy to figure that out on his own from the get go?

Get Out There And Close The Deal

So once you know your market and where they live (fish where the fish are) and know who you are and that you are fantastic and probably the best thing that will ever happen to a guy, then you need to get up and get out. You’re not going to meet guys if you stay home, traipse around the city with your ear buds permanently plugged in, and only hanging out with your girlfriends. You need to be perceived as approachable in a fun way and available in a non-slutty way. That means just be you and love your life. A few laps around the online dating track can work wonders if you have some common sense and confidence. Same goes for taking a class, running or sunning in the park or sitting at an outdoor table where a glimpse of your shapely legs can attract waves of guys who are interested in someone just like you. And, always remind yourself to have fun and keep an open mind. Love shows up when you least expect it, but it helps if you are dressed for the part and wearing a smile.

Bonus

Here’s something that women should know and guys will probably never tell you. Whether they will admit it or not, guys are seeking the same qualities in women as you are in guys. The other “secret” they carry is that most men are real horn dogs. It’s part of our DNA and it needs minding. What could differentiate one guy from another is how he manages his “inner horn dog”. It’s the elephant in the room, and he needs to take charge of it. Easier said than done. Happy hunting, ladies!

Guy’s Guy of The Week: David Ogilvy for all of his great branding campaigns. 

How can you deploy successful advertising techniques to find yourself a mate? 

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Image courtesy of thirdage.com.

The 5 Traits Women Look For in a Man

Robert Manni - Wednesday, May 30, 2012

  image courtesy of vi.sualize.us

Have you ever wondered what the most important characteristics that women seek in guys are? After another fruitless night combing the bars, clubs, and hot spots for a mate, a lot of guys skulk home with a belly full of Budweiser and not much else to show for it. I’ve been there…many times. But being a circumspect and blossoming Guy’s Guy, at a certain point I asked myself what was the key to connecting…I mean really connecting with women. Of course the most important step was step one. That meant admitting to myself that I had a lot to learn. Excellent. Then it was on to step two researching with women. I’m an ad guy and we always check in on a regular basis with our target consumers to find out what they are thinking. In this area not much changes. There truly are some basic character traits…beyond a Swiss Bank account and a body like Brad Pitt that women desire in a man. Here is your Guys’ Guys’ Guide to Traits Women Want in a Man. You may agree or maybe not. Ask a woman though before you call bullshit. 

1. Confidence- This is numero uno, amigos. Ladies gravitate to dudes who exude a quiet, but smoldering brand of self-assurance. Not the kind that says, “Look at me. I have ripped abs.” Nope. It’s a smoother, underlying energy that projects from the inside out. It says, without saying, “I know who I am and I am comfortable in my own skin. I’m looking for a partner who has her feet planted on the ground and dreams that reach the heavens.  Interested in finding out more?” That usually works if it is based on true knowing, not posturing. And knowing comes from men who have been tested. 

2. Attitude- This is confidence’s wingman. If a guy has confidence, he usually has the right attitude. That means a propensity to seeing the glass half full. Easier said than done sometimes. Even if he loses his job, a Guy’s Guy sees it as an opportunity to open new doors that are better suited for his journey. Sounds like bullshit? It’s not.  Women like guys who see the big picture, especially when life throws them a major curveball. Women find comfort knowing that their guy is not going to fall apart when the going gets tough and make fear-based decisions. 

 3. Sense of Humor- A lot of women find Bill Murray attractive. Although he may not be your prototypical Hollywood star, he exudes his own brand of confidence and attitude and he’s hilarious. He is one powerful guy. I recently watched him on Anthony Bourdain’s travel show and he is the only person that I have seen that left Bourdain somewhat tongue-tied. That’s quite an accomplishment. And, of course he was in “Stripes” and “Caddyshack” and “Groundhog Day” and SNL. He is certifiably funny as hell and chicks dig his act. 

4. Kindness- It’s kindness, not weakness. In fact, kindness is a true sign of strength, particularly when it emanates from a guy.  It’s easy to be a dick. There are lots of people who do stupid things and arguably could benefit from a boot in the butt, but that’s not what we are here for, amigos. Kindness means transcending judgment. That’s really challenging in a culture driven by reality and competition shows that are based on judging. And in an insidiously exploitive society, people are crying out to be heard. The cure for judgment is kindness. If a dude is mindful about choosing a path of forgiveness and caring, women will pick up on it. And that is a very good thing for everyone. Being kind is a series of conscious decisions made on a daily basis. If guys pay attention to their choices in how they handle people and situations and choose the path of kindness it will pay off in many wonderful ways, including attracting the ladies. This is a fringe benefit of being kind.   

5. The intangibles- I once dated a woman who was turned on by Daniel Day-Lewis’s long fingers.  I could not compete with that. I have meaty fists that scream I have worked with a jackhammer as well as the keyboard of my computer. These are strong, solid hands, but no matter. Needless to say, this is one of those intangibles that guys have to factor in when dealing with women. There are certain quirks and likes that seem random, because they are. And women have the right to follow their hearts when it comes to this stuff. I do not have an anecdote for handling the intangibles, but I assure you that they will spring up when you least expect it.  Do guys think Hugh Grant is cute? Hell, no, but women do. That’s how they roll, fellas, so I suggest deploying the aforementioned other four traits when the intangibles rear their head. Just shake it off. It’s only Hugh Grant. 

Do you have a handle on the five traits that women seek in a man? 


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